Just Say His Name

This particular week has been pretty tough for me. This week I have been doing a deep level of reflection about things that have confused me. Last week I went on a date. My first date in I don't know how long. I had been communicating with a particular man for a brief amount of time by phone and soon after a rapport had been established we had decided to meet in person for dinner. I was so excited about this date because I rarely go out on dates. My life seems to be consumed with working three jobs, two part time jobs, and one full time job as a doctoral student. In my life I don't often enter social circles or domains in which I meet men. I usually spend a lot of time in the library buried in research, articles, and homework. I do my best to make sure that my life has balance, so I make sure to spend time with my friends and family and I don't wait for the time rather I make the time to do so (let's be real...if I waited for the time...I'd never have it).

So back to this date. When the opportunity presented itself for me to go out with this man I was excited. As soon as I got off work I sped home to get ready. It almost felt like I was getting ready for prom or something. I'm surprised that my mom didn't take pictures of me before I left my house haha! Based on our conversations, this man seemed like the perfect catch! Prestigious job, financially stable, funny, driven, and attractive. I liked that he made sure to communicate with me consistently and always made time to check on me each day. Meeting him in person was amazing. We spent the night engaged in great and purposeful conversation while enjoying the best Italian meal I've ever had! I admit that a part of me began to become a little afraid because I didn't want this night to end! I felt fear because this man and this night seemed way too good to be true. Just know that in some scenarios if things seem too good to be true...they probably are. The man, let's see I'll call him "DJ", suggested that I ask him three questions to which he would answer them honestly. On the spot I thought of so many potential questions that I ironically couldn't think of a single one to ask! I was taken aback by his willingness to be so open. So of course I asked DJ about his relationship with God and he stated that, "I believe in God, but I just have questions." Now I was not turned off by this response. After hearing about some of his experiences I could understand why he would have questions but at the same time I didn't hear about him actively putting forth the effort to get answers. I spoke from a genuine place in describing my relationship with God and encouraged Him to spend time with God so that he could get to know how awesome God is for himself. I also asked him if he would have a problem with me being celibate. I told him that I had been celibate for 9 years and had no intentions on having sex until I was married. DJ replied by saying that he would not have a problem with this at all. I also asked about the last time he had sex and he stated that it had been 2 months. All I could hear in the back of my brain was LOUD sounding alarms. In the moment I did not pay attention to the alarms, but make no mistake, I did hear them. After some more laughs and conversation the night ended and I smiled all the way back to my car. I texted 2 of my girlfriends with "!!!"

After the date I didn't hear from DJ again. A week had passed and I heard nothing. I called and texted a few days after the date with no response. I became discouraged and disappointed. I immediately began to reexamine everything. Communication was consistent before the date, the date went great, but after the date...nothing. I immediately began to point the finger at myself and I asked God, "What did I do wrong? What is it about me that caused him not to respond back?" In this moment I need you to pay attention because God reminded me of something very important:

"My dear daughter. Do you not remember what you asked of me

before you entered the restaurant that night?? I honored your 

request because I honor you. It's not you. It's not about what you said,

rather about WHO you said. You mentioned my name and in the 

presence of my name anyone or anything that aims to do you harm

will be cut off from you."

I had to sit with this and reflect. God was right. The night of the date before I entered the restaurant I said a prayer and I always say this prayer when I begin a new interaction with a man. The prayer goes like this:

"Lord, I am asking you today to be with me and protect me. 

I have no idea the real intentions of this man but I pray Lord

that if this man is NOT my husband or any person that you 

want me associating with that you REMOVE HIM from my life. If you see

fit to remove this man I will ask no questions. I may be disappointed

but I will ask no questions because I know you know what's 

best for me. Amen."

Now the thing about this prayer is that God has honored it EVERY SINGLE TIME I have prayed it. No really...EVERY SINGLE TIME. The last 3 men that I have interacted with either by phone or in person over the last 12 months who I wanted to date, I said this prayer and they were removed INSTANTLY. In each case I became disappointed and discouraged and God had to remind me of what I ASKED Him to do. In my reflections these experiences have confirmed the mighty power of prayer. If you ask God to do something, He will do it! God explained to me that sometimes His protection is more valuable that His provision. I'm glad that God is protecting me:

"The righteous person faces many troubles, 

but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.

For the Lord protects the bones of the righteous;

not one of them is broken!"

~Psalm 34: 19-20

I could feel the devil twisting my arm in the spirit. The pain of disappointment, hopelessness, and fear was becoming unbearable! Right when I was about to tap out and give up God cheered me on! He gave me a visual and a scripture:

"Let us not become weary in doing good,

for at the proper time we will reap a 

harvest if we do not give up."

~Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

I love the way that God loves me. He truly is a good good Father. He would rather me hurt a little in the short run than hurt a lot in the long run. He looks and listens to everyone that I encounter and if they are not for me and if they threaten my purpose He keeps them away. As a christian single woman I get that I am rare and most of the men that I will meet will not be able to rise to the challenge in order to earn my heart. I get it and I accept it. Just because DJ couldn't cut it doesn't mean that I should give up waiting for the man who can. Be encouraged out there and remember that your obedience and sacrifice will reward you in ways far beyond meeting your husband. The picture is so much BIGGER than you think. In the meantime, ALWAYS pray when it comes to men. Just say the name JESUS when you are out on dates and watch Him take out the trash. God wants you to elevate to new experiences...not repeat old ones.