The Power of Rest

I took this photo while in New Orleans for my birthday earlier this year. 

A wonderful time of rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation!

So I just completed another semester of doc studies. I'm exhausted mentally, spiritually, and physically. This semester challenged me is several creative ways. I was blessed with the opportunity to be a co-teacher, this is when a student assists in teaching a course with a professor. I initially thought that all I would be doing is passing out papers and doing a little grading, but it was so much more than that! As a co-teacher or teaching assistant, I had several responsibilities. I had to take attendance, collect and grade papers, facilitate class discussions, create and engage in class activities, complete weekly student observations, meet with the professor on a weekly basis outside of class to prep, and participate in midterm and final student evaluations. Whew!

Now while being a TA, I was also a RA (research assistant). Similar to teaching, a RA is a student who assists a professor with their research. So, I had to make time in my schedule to complete data entry and transfer, make copies of different assessments and deliver them to different departments, create spreadsheets, attend weekly meetings with the professors involved, and administer the assessments to students all over campus. 

I also mentored this semester. This was truly an enriching experience. I had to make sure that on top of everything else, I made time to meet weekly with my mentee.

So along with being a TA, RA, and mentor, don't forget...lol...I'm  also a full time student which meant that on top of all the things I described above I also had my student responsibilities. I had projects to create, papers to type, and presentations to well..present lol. I had chapters to read, articles to summarize, and classes to attend. Last but not least, I also work part time and have to fulfill my obligations as an employee. As you can see...ya girl has a lot going on! Now I'm on break until after the holidays and I'm SO EXCITED about catching up on some much needed rest and self care!

The reason why I'm describing in great detail all that I did this semester is because last year at this exact time, my attitude was much different. In early December 2016, I completed my very first semester of the PhD program at Oakland University. After classes had concluded, I basically had the rest of the month off until classes reconvened after the New Year's holiday. Now at this point, I had been living with my parents for a little over a month. I gave up my apartment because I made the choice to quit my full time job in order to go to school full time (SIDE NOTE: YOUR PURPOSE WILL REQUIRE YOU TO MAKE SOME SERIOUS SACRIFICES). So, up until this first semester, I had always worked. I worked different part time jobs throughout undergrad, and after I graduated with my bachelors degree I began working full time. I worked full time throughout graduate school and was blessed to attain my masters degree. Since the age of 15, I always had a job and I was proud of that. Now I used the word proud intentionally because I wasn't just happy about being employed, I took PRIDE in knowing that for 16 years I had always held down a job and supported myself. It wasn't until I was faced with the decision to give up my job for my purpose that I began to feel restless. It wasn't until I had to depend on my parents for help that I began to feel restless (since I was a teen I never really depended on my parents for anything because the relationships with both my mother and father was rocky). It wasn't until I was placed in an academic environment that challenged me in unimaginable ways that I began to feel......restless.

I had no idea how much of my identity was connected to me being an employee. The Bible says this:

"For where your treasure is, there your heart

will be also."

~Matthew 6:8 (NKJV)

Once my treasure was removed, I realized where my heart really was. Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a heart for what you do BUT I had more than just a passion and deep satisfaction for what I was doing. I remember when I first quit my job, all I could tell people was, "I've always worked! For the last 16 years, I've always had a steady paycheck!" You see, this is what PRIDE sounds like. The basic definition of pride is a deep satisfaction or pleasure in one's own accomplishments. Biblically, pride goes deeper than that. Pride in the biblical sense means that there is no reverence or reference to God for what HE has allowed one to accomplish. In this context we attribute our success to what WE have done:

"...for in Him we live and move and have our being..."

~Acts 17:28 (NKJV)

Without God I wouldn't have had a steady paycheck for the last 16 years!! I had no idea how much I treasured and depended on having a job and not really thinking about how God is my provider NOT the job. This experience caused me to have a serious spiritual reality check! 

"For all that is in the world--the lust of the flesh,

the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--is not of

the Father but is of the world."

~I John 2:16 (NKJV)

Once God brought this to my attention, I began to question my identity. Without my job, I had a hard time figuring out who I was. During the month of December (2016), I struggled with rest. I had never been off work like this before. I could sleep in, wake up and not have anything to do, and had each day completely open to do whatever I wanted. I should have embraced this time, but I didn't, instead I felt  a large amount of guilt because I felt restless...I felt like I should've been doing something. I remember feeling very unproductive. This whole waking up everyday with nothing to do was foreign to me. 

When I returned to school that following January of 2017, I continued to struggle internally. When I completed the semester that April I was severely BURNED OUT! I worked hard throughout the first and second semesters and didn't take advantage of the rest period I had in between. As a result of me not taking advantage of getting rest, I created, worked, and gave out of a place of fatigue and emptiness. The second semester was even rougher than the first because I was counseling clients and had to scrape every piece of being within me just to be present in session with them. Now don't get me wrong, I did some hard work with my clients but it cost me BIG TIME. It cost me psychologically, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

As a second year PhD student my identity has been revived and redefined. I know that God is my source for everything that I need and He has provided so much for me! Because I reverence Him in all that I do, I don't have to pay one thin dime for my PhD because He made a way and blessed me with a fellowship that gives me a full ride! My bills have always been paid even with a decrease in my income! God blessed me with a super easy part time job! The list goes on! Without God NONE of these things would be happening for me right now!

God has provided which means I CAN REST! I don't have to feel like I need to do it all because God has done it all for me! I can rest in Him! I can rest assured! I can rest and know that I am taken care of! When we do all the work...we leave no room for God to work and as a result we use up all of our energy.

This December, since my classes ended about two weeks ago I have taken FULL ADVANTAGE of this rest period! I sleep A LOT.  I've spent so many nights in the library studying, up in the middle of the night at home trying to type papers, back and forth to work, and then back to campus for night classes. I scheduled time for everything else EXCEPT time to rest. Getting sleep is so important for overall health and I'm feeling the benefits already just by catching up on the sleep I deprived myself from for the past few months. Going forward into next year and next semester I already know that I will be busy. My professors have already sent me emails about their classes and I'm making a mental weekly calendar with all of the things I will have to do everyday. I thank God that I'm a hard and diligent worker with a solid work ethic but I will be integrating more sleep as a part of that ethic. I'm ready for the new season because I'm making a conscious effort to take care of my mind, body, and spirit in this season. This experience has taught me a valuable lesson:

If I'm not good to myself, I will be no good to anyone else (and I have way too many people to help to be of no good!)

I hope this post reaches and helps someone. I share my personal experiences because I believe that transparency creates unity. Stay encouraged on your journey!

Please click the link below to watch a sermon preached by Pastor Touré Roberts titled "The Power of Rest" this message inspired me to write this post (hence the title) :^)

Pastor Touré Roberts - The Power of Rest