Get Ready to Graduate!

I've been single for two years now. My last relationship was like summer school. I use this metaphor because kids typically attend summer school for one of two reasons: 1) When a senior is in danger of not graduating due to failing a course or being short of credits or 2) A student is in danger of being held back due to poor academic performance in several subject areas. In general, summer school is for students who didn't learn the lesson at the time they were supposed to. Now the student is required to put in extra time and work to make sure they learn the lesson in order to prevent the aforementioned outcomes from happening. Like I said, my last relationship was summer school for me. My lesson was, "God doesn't need your help". For some reason I just wasn't getting it, so God put me in summer school so that I could learn. Unfortunately I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I met my ex-boyfriend via social media, we began dating, and were together for almost 3 years. When I look back on it now, I realize that God was NOWHERE in this arrangement...nowhere. But back then I believed UP AND DOWN that God spoke to me regarding this man and that he indeed was my husband! Yup...that's the story I told. I told it so many times I actually believed it! Sometimes we can want things so badly that we convince ourselves that God gave us His blessing to enter into a mess. We honestly think sometimes that God loves us enough to condone us hookin up with a CORPSE, tying a bow on it, and calling that dead thing a relationship. That's not the way it works, and this was what I had to learn. I'm not referring to my ex as a corpse, rather the relationship was the corpse. I had to understand that anyone or anything that I connected myself to that was taking life away from me was dead. I had friendships that were corpses and jobs that were corpses too...draining the life right out of me yet there I was trying to hold on to a situation that was making me look more and more like a zombie! 

I think about the first reason above for kids attending summer school: A non-graduating senior. Now in this case a senior can in fact walk across the stage with the graduating class BUT they will not receive a diploma until they pass the course they failed. This makes me think of appearances. Sometimes we as women stay in relationships just for the sake of appearances. I'm guilty of this to a degree. In my previous relationship about a year in a half in I knew that I was unhappy and thought about ending things BUT then I thought, "What would that look like??" I've brought this man around my family, he's joined my church, shook hands with my pastor, we have all of these pictures on Facebook and Instagram....I guess I can hang in there and make it work." I mean don't get me wrong a part of me did want to try to make it work BUT appearances factored into my decision too. So here I am walking across the stage of life smiling and laughing KNOWING that I've come up short on my happiness credits...KNOWING that I failed the course of listening to God when He told me to end things...I'm making all of these public appearances KNOWING that I will never graduate as long as I stayed in that relationship. Are YOU more concerned about what other people will think if you make a good move for yourself?? If you are, I'm telling you to STOP because at the end of the day YOU will have to deal with the consequences of your choices NOT other people!

I think about the second reason: Being held back. I made up in my mind that I didn't want to hold myself back from my future husband or any other future opportunity for happiness because I'm not listening to God. I talked with God and admitted that I was trying to do His job by helping him help me, and in the end all I did was get in God's way of helping me! Just think about the circles you've gone in with certain people. Same ol scenario just a different face or a different place. Remember that feeling of disgust and annoyance you felt because here you are AGAIN dealing with the SAME stuff that you tried to get away from! My ex was unfaithful in our relationship, but the thing about that was my last two boyfriends were unfaithful too! So there I was AGAIN...same thing. When you notice a negative pattern that involves you, you have to ask yourself, "What am I doing wrong here???" I believe that even in our mistakes God tries to reach and teach us to ultimately free us from these negative cycles we find ourselves in. God warned me that I could not reach the next level going around in circles. I had to admit that it wasn't God, it wasn't these men, but it was ME. I was holding myself back.

This post is to encourage you...yes YOU! If you're in a relationship or situation that is dead, negative, repetitive, or stationary you need to WALK AWAY NOW (heck run if you have to)! God wants you to graduate into all of the blessings and promises that He has waiting for you, but you can't if you're stuck in summer school. I've been in school almost my entire life and the reason why I'm working so hard now is because I'm READY to graduate and get this last degree! I want to have that same attitude spiritually. I'm tired of learning these lessons over and over. I want to learn what I need to learn, move on to the next assignment, complete my work, and GRADUATE! Who knows, your graduation stage may be walking into your brand new office, it might be signing off on a new house, it might might walking down an isle, or starting a ministry of your own; everyone's area of graduation is different. We can do this y'all! Let me be the first to say...CONGRATULATIONS GRADUATE!!!

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear"

~Buddhist Proverb

Graduation photos (High School, Bachelors, Masters, and in a few short years PhD!)